To Be or Not to Be...

Hmmm... I wonder if I made the right decision to be a social studies minor. Michelle said in class the other day there is a need for teacher's to have backgrounds in both math and science and this got me thinking about my decision to become a social science minor. Now don't get me wrong, I love the social sciences they are all very interesting to me and there is a definite need for them to be present in schools. However, I really also enjoy the sciences. I especially enjoy studying biology and the aspect of environmental conservation. I was reminded by this enjoyment on our outdoor biodiversity field trip during Wednesday's class. I am also reminded of this on a daily basis when I go on walks through the Bubolz Nature Preserve in Appleton. I own all of the Planet Earth and Blue Planet series, as well as many other science documentaries including SharkWater filmed by Rob Stewart (If you have not seen it yet, you should!). So with all of this science around me, how is it that I chose social science?

As I reflect on this question, I can easily remember why I did not choose to be a science minor and it boils down to the study of chemistry. Now I know that chemistry is just one field of the sciences, but I am fairly certain I would need to have some classes in chemistry to be a science minor and even just thinking about taking a chemistry course causes me to have anxiety. I do not enjoy chemistry for one second. I both fear and despise it. As a reflective professional does, I thought about why I have these feelings towards chemistry, because after all I only took one chemistry class and that was in high school. I know why I don't enjoy chemistry and it all boils down to the chemistry teacher. Let me start by describing how he set my classmates and myself up for failure. First his grade point scale was too ridiculously easy and not at all acceptable. To get an A in the course you had to have an 80% or higher, to have a B you needed to have at least 60% , to have a C you needed to have at least 40%, a D was all the way down to 20%, and failing was anything less that 20% in the course. How ridiculous is this? First it set me up to believe that chemistry was very hard and there was a pretty good change I am not going to understand it at all, especially if I get a C with only having 40% of the information correct. It also made me feel as though I didn't have to try because I am fairly certain that on any test of quiz I can get at least 40% correct by pure chance, and if not 40% for a C, I could easily get higher than a 20% and still pass the test. The grading scale but itself made it very difficult for me to even believe that I could do well in chemistry, and this mental state did not help me at all in the class. Second, the teacher was just terrible. I can remember going over the concept of balancing equations maybe twice and we were expected to just know it and understand it (like that happened). The teacher fell asleep during his own class as we were watching "important" videos. He also set us up to fail. At my high school there were 8 sets during the day, and chemistry was probably taught 4 or 5 of those sets. The teacher by "chance" left out an upcoming test and answer key on the front counter/desk. Of course the first set of classes for the day copied down the multiple choice answers to cheat (he never changed tests), the answers were shared between friends and passed on through many of the sections. Well, the day of the test people cheated and of course he found out. I was in the 8th and last section of the day and we took the test. By this point he knew some people had cheated so he changed the test, he made every single one of the multiple choice answers to be the letter A (all 25 of them). After we took the test he yelled at us for cheating (even though not everyone, including me had cheated) and told us that all the multiple choice answers had been changed to A. Now, from a student stand point I would never put the answer for multiple choice questions to be A, 25 times in a row even if I did know the correct answer. It was not okay for students to cheat, but as I mentioned before not everyone did, and students like me who did not have the answers felt cheated, as though it was an unfair test.

Now, what was the point of sharing this experience? Teachers have a profound effect on a student's confidence in the subjects they are studying. This teacher made me feel like I couldn't study or understand chemistry, and even when I passed the course I did not feel like I accomplished anything because his standards were so low. I do not want my students to have the negative feelings I have towards any subject. So it is very important for me to not show any negative feelings towards a subject, and to remember that even something as simple as my grade point scale can represent information to my students. I truly believe that this one experience changed my feelings towards science and maybe even changed my decision to avoid becoming a science minor. Maybe it's time for me to give chemistry a fair chance, and now that Michelle explained what the Excel center look for possibilities to gain a science minor and license in the future.